I initially thought about giving this write up the title of “Chandini Ratein”, but that would not serve the point coz chandini or amavas the feelings are the same. What feelings? Well without beating around the bush, let me get down to it.
I like looking up at the star spangled sky in the late hours of the night. I like looking out of the window on a dark very dark night, at the lights from distant buildings. I like it for the feeling it arouses in me. A feeling so mixed that I wonder if anything else but the feeling of ‘love’ can beat it.
It brings back old memories, the school days, college life…..the infactuations,the lost friends, …..people whom I have met during the course of my life….as teachers, friends, uncles, aunts even the milkman, gardener or the maid. Everything that has been a part of my past. That sunshine which seems more sunnier more cozy, the rains which were more drenching, the songs more melodious. All those things I loved…. all things I hated and would give anything to hate again!!!!!!love again!!!!! They come back to me fresh and strong.
As I stand gazing the past gives way to the future. No,no nothing astrological about this one. It is just an anticipation of what will come about…. how it may come…. will it come at all. Of how things are going to be 10 to 15 years later. With the kids grown up, later with two retired people all alone and even after that. Ya, life after death that too comes under scrutiny.
When I look at the stars I am transported to another world, The world of the stars, the planets and all the heavenly and celestial beings. The planets that scientists have proved are there and the gods who are so hidden? Or not so hidden…
The lights from the distant skyscrapers have a totally different effect. Knowingly or unknowingly the big cities come to my mind. Mumbai,Delhi,Chennai,Bangalore etc. The night life there seems to play hide and seek with my imagination. I have not experienced the night life in these big cities but the way the idiot box projects it and some masala added by my imaginative mind….. the picture is ready!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, the total effect of all these thoughts put together is electrifying. Yes, I get goose bums sometimes…I feel happy and sad, elated and scared all at the same time……
These silent nights are not so silent after all…or maybe its just the silence speaking volumes.
(Go ahead and look at the sky to nite).