ONE SIDED LOVE——-A PAIN?


“True love is for the fearless,because it takes courage to love and accept you are irrevocable in love. This feeling is so wholesome,that sometime it doesn’t matter if there is lack of reciprocation. But the biggest one is finding the object of that kind of love……rest follows”

There is one question that you come across at least once in your life-“Do you believe in love at first sight?’ Do you? Now, here is one more question coming your way. “Do you believe in one-sided love”?

Personally I do. I believe the tears and pain behind it. The hope and despair behind it. The joy and anguish too. When this topic came  my mind, I popped this question to my friends at a casual gathering. Although quite a few pooh-poohed it; I was pleasantly surprised at the number of people who swore by it. Maybe be they have been through it or seen someone close go through it. Love  unreciprocated, love after a break-up  all  fell under the  category of one sided love and was scrutinized. We had a  discussion rolling. Nobody won,therefore no one lost. Although, a  lot of thoughts did float around.

It was  referred to  as ‘lonely love’. Yet,the irony is that,love is never ever lonely. It always has some dear one occupying that special space in your heart . So you may be alone but not lonely. Painful.Of course,it is painful.  Love that has not got its due is painful. There is no duet involved here , only solo dancing. There are no weaving dreams together,just castles in the air. No love letters just tear filled diary pages. No long all-night calls, just sleepless nights.

Yet, love is love all the same. One sided love always keeps the ‘he loves me,he loves me not” suspense alive.  The ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ phenomenon does not happen here. Yes, you can’t hold hands and share secret pecks,but then so what? The heady feeling is no different. The yearning and craving no different. Will I be wrong if  I give it the status of devotion? The same feeling that we have for God? When we rest our trust in him expecting little or nothing in return. Where in-spite of all the tests he puts us through, we love him, look up to him,never stop worshiping him? Where he is never present with us, yet we feel he is somewhere around? We may or may not attain ‘moksha’ through this devotion, but we never stop trying. The love that Meerabai had for Krishna. The line between love and devotion was so fine that one always looked like the other.

Here I do not talk about obsessive love. Neither do I approve of the same. Love that hurts the object of interest cannot be true. It just becomes a crazy need to possess,to own. It does not grow with you,it eats into you. One-sided love  is an extended infatuation or idolizing . Only ,your idol never changes.

One sided love,-the sober one,I feel, is  pure and maybe divine too. There are no promises, no bindings,no assurances involved,yet you care. There is so much of pain,yet you care. The pain doubles when your love interst adores another, yet you care. No selfishness involved. It lets you fly and then brings you down. Blessed are those whose love is reciprocated immediately. But when your one-sided love blooms,the joy is beyond words. How long or how strongky you can hold on depends entirely on you. If you are ready to go up and down the waves,you are strong. Be sure not to drown. Creative people can channalize this to come up with something really beautiful a master piece.It is nothing  but one soul pulling another. They will come together if they are meant to or else they will float in a space made just for them.

My love need no assurance,my love needs no claim.

It knows there is no commitment,I cannot share your name.

And yet,I keep loving you, like crazy, like mad.

Not for what we will have,for what we have and had.

If True love is not this…………………..then tell me what else is?

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4 thoughts on “ONE SIDED LOVE——-A PAIN?

  1. Thanks for writing this…after a long time I have read something which has touched me…i could connect with this piece at so many levels..thanks for sharing.
    With love, Sandeep

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