I have hurt myself with blades of tears.
Distanced myself from near and dear.
Cried myself to sleep; many a nights.
Heard my head and heart getting into a fight.
I sat alone, in a crowd of friends.
Played games of act and pretend.
Woven dreams out of just….thoughts.
I had them in abundance, many….a lot.
I gave excuses for your indifference.
Assumed you were in ignorance.
I ignored what you were telling me.
Just saw, what I wanted to see.
You peeped through my eyes,
And dropped through my speech.
You stayed so close to me,
Yet always out of reach.
I brushed off your arrogance,
Forgave it all the way.
Yet, I put myself, through this agony each day.
It took me years and years to know.
The love in me needs a different path to flow.
To pastures waiting to flourish and grow,
Not to barren lands…..no!no!no!.
I am ready to writhe, in this agony, in this pain.
If you can assure me, a rainbow, after this rain.
I decided to succumb.
Succumb to my tiny ‘ego’.
Not that I don’t love you.
Someday you will know.
Only because I love myself .
Love myself I little more…..
Just a wee little bit more….