Not because I don’t love you……………..


Pic courtesy: www.sowetanlive.co.za

 

I have hurt myself with blades of tears.

Distanced myself from near and dear.

Cried myself to sleep; many a nights.

Heard my head and heart getting into a fight.

I sat alone, in a crowd of friends.

Played games of act and pretend.

Woven dreams out of just….thoughts.

I had them in abundance, many….a lot.

I gave excuses for your indifference.

Assumed you were in ignorance.

I ignored what you were telling me.

Just saw, what I wanted to see.

You peeped through my eyes,

And dropped through my speech.

You stayed so close to me,

Yet always out of reach.

I brushed off your arrogance,

Forgave it all the way.

Yet, I put myself, through this agony each day.

It took me years and years to know.

The love in me needs a different path to flow.

To pastures waiting to flourish and grow,

Not to barren lands…..no!no!no!.

I am ready to writhe, in this agony, in this pain.

If you can assure me, a rainbow, after this rain.

I decided to succumb.

Succumb  to my tiny ‘ego’.

Not that I don’t love you.

Someday you will know.

Only because I love myself .

Love myself  I little more…..

Just a wee little bit more….

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7 thoughts on “Not because I don’t love you……………..

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