Its one of those days when I desperately want to write something and words seem to be playing hide and seek.They seem to be teasing me. Running away from me into the wilderness of unwritten thoughts.
Lately this has been happening a lot. I want to write, but all I do is twist and turn the pen around my fingers. So many lines I have written and scratched off. So many pages I have wasted, just scribbling mindless words. Words which do not make sense to me too.
I admonish myself for even assuming that I can write . Forget writing sense! I tell myself to drop the pen and close the diary. The only thing I have been writing now-a -days is my diary. And that too not regularly. The writer in me fights back. Tooth and nail. “I write,and I write well”, she says adjusting her specs. She takes out her diary and flips the pages and shows it to the ‘smirking me’. Who is standing with her arms crossed across her chest. With a sly ,challenging smile on her lips. ” Read, read you smirking fool”, says the specy. “These are my creations, my babies”. “So what?”, taunts the blocker. “Pick up that pen and write. Write one sensible line if you can’, she glares.
There are days when I sit in front of the computer, staring at the monitor, the keyboard and then into space. Not a word. Not a word I manage. C’mon , I had a whole story in my head. Complete with the beginning, middle and end, all charted out perfectly. But the characters just keep roaming in my head. Each stuck to various parts of my brain. They are in no mood to talk to me.
Then there are ideas which are uniquely unique. That would make a great piece of work. But I fail to compile it. They are beyond my ability to capture in words. I feel frustrated, but there it is. Reality check.
The pen is lifeless. The page still pure . My mind still vacant of thoughts and ideas. There seems to be a frantic rush in my head . Yet none of them want to confine themselves to a page. They want to be free. I let them be. Free!!! Another day, I will capture them and arrange them nicely and share it with the world. For now I let them be free, while I confine myself into the ‘writers block’!
Hey, is there something called a writer’s look? Well more about that next time….